Teletubbies: Stories of Death
by Kaiyam of Fehoguin
Summary: Many deaths for Teletubbies! Please r&r, and please put submissions in your reviews. I'll credit you.
1. Campgrounds

Disclaimer: All I own here is my story, my computer, and my pride.  
  
Campgrounds  
  
(Shows Teletubby campsite on tv.)  
  
Tinky Winky: Yay! Tent!(Accidently stabs himself in the heart with pole.)  
  
Dipsy: Yay! Fishy!(Catches a piranha, gets eaten alive.)  
  
Laa Laa: Yay! S'more!(Burns herself while roasting s'mores.)  
  
Po: Yay! Kite!(Flies kite during thunderstorm, gets electrocuted.)  
  
*WARNING* THE ENDING WILL ONLY BE SHOWN IN THIS STORY BECAUSE IT WILL BE THE SAME IN EACH STORY.  
  
BBC: OH MY!  
  
Little kids: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Everyone else: FINALLY!(celebrates for a week.) THE END 


	2. Snowy Streets

Disclaimer: Same as before.  
  
Snowy Streets  
  
(Teletubbies are shown on a snowy curb.)  
  
Tinky Winky: I love snowy!(Chokes on snow after eating it.)  
  
Dipsy:Hello hobo!(Gets body parts bitten off one by one by the hobo.)  
  
Laa Laa: Doggy!(Gets eaten by dog.)  
  
Po: Ooh, petty lice[pretty lights]!(Gets hit by car)  
  
*ENDING* THE END 


	3. Teletubbies on Namek

Disclaimer: Same as before.  
  
Teletubbies on Namek  
  
(Appear with Teletubbies on New Namek.)  
  
Goku: WHAT is THAT!?!  
  
Vegeta: I don't care! There the ugliest things I've ever seen!(Kills Po with a ki blast.)  
  
Piccolo: Special Beam Cannon!!!(Shoots Dipsy in the T.V. screen with Beam Cannon, killing him.) That'll teach you to appreciate the skin color of green!  
  
Trunks:*Does fast arm movements* Burning.......ATTACK!(Blows up LaaLaa's head with Burning Attack.)  
  
King Cold: Ya......never killed............me. OMG! WTF! LMAO!ROFL! What is that?!?(Kills Tinky Winky by strangling him.)There!  
  
*ENDING*THE END 


	4. The Package

The Package  
  
(Building shown at closing time. Two workers shown closing up building.)  
  
KJ4: Yo, A!  
  
AMD: Wattup, Kain?  
  
KJ4: Can I borrow some money?  
  
AMD: For what?(KJ4 whispers in his ear.) Ohhhhhhh yeaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh.........  
  
(Teletubbyland is shown. The Teletubbies are in house-in-a-hill.)  
  
Po: Package! Package!  
  
Laa Laa: Open it!(Po opens a box.) Ooh.......  
  
Tinky Winky: Lemme see!( Looks inside.) Yay! I got shampoo!(Runs into bathroom to wash his.......head? Turns out to be battery acid, burns a hole in his head.)  
  
Dipsy: Yay! I got hamburger!(Eats hamburger, dies of food poisoning.)  
  
Laa Laa: Yay! I got Tubby Tustad[custard] bow[bowl]!(Eats Tubby Custard out of bowl, but dies because of anthrax in the bowl.)  
  
Po: Yay! I got bubba[bubble] boe-a[blower]!(Bubble blower is gun. He blows himself to bits.)  
  
Noo Noo(Teletubbies slave. Err...... I mean vaccum cleaner.): Vroom Vroom![You forgot one!](Sucks up time bomb.)  
  
Bomb: 5 min. to detonation.  
  
Noo Noo: Vroom[Uh-oh].  
  
(4 min. 50 sec. later...)  
  
Noo Noo: Vroom Vroom Vroom![Gotta get rid of this bomb!](Spits out bomb at Baby Sun.) Vroom![There!]  
  
Baby Sun: Tee hee ha ha ho hee hee ha!(Gets hit by bomb, crashes into Teletubby Land, Baby Sun, Noo Noo, all the frightened rabbits, all get destroyed from explosion that occurs.)  
  
(KJ4 & AMD in spaceship.)  
  
KJ4: 140 degrees north, 85 degrees east.  
  
AMD: No planet or sun. Just a nebula.  
  
KJ4: Ya know what that means?  
  
AMD: Mission accomplished.  
  
KJ4: What I tell you? I told you they were that stupid!  
  
AMD: I know, just wish we were there to see it.  
  
*ENDING*THE END 


	5. TTs Meet MeiChan's Strange Friends

Disclaimer: Same as before.  
  
Credit:telitubbies go bye bye  
  
Tellitubbies meet Mei-chan's strange friends  
  
*my friends hates cute things*  
  
T.W.: hug! *giggles*  
  
Duana: die little cute thing that looks like puke! *sics her harem of rabid dogs on him, he is made into a pile of blood and gore*  
  
Duana: it still is cute! DIE! ahahaha! *stomps in the blood and runs off*  
  
/  
  
po po meats oh- no  
  
Po po: *giggle* look sad, need hug!  
  
Liz: GHA! *gets evil chopsticks of doom* die die die! *makes po po into shabu-shabu and gives him to the homeless*  
  
Homeless: WHAT THE HELL IS THIS CRAP, FRIED TELLITUBBIE?  
  
/  
  
Laa laa, gets baad  
  
Lala: oh, shiny thing!  
  
Heidi": gah! my kaiba shrine! you evil sickarammoo! *puts him/her in thing of sheep*  
  
sheep: ba?  
  
laalaa: soft, *pets sheep*  
  
sheep: *grow fangs and feast on la la*  
  
/  
  
dipsy spells doom  
  
dipsy: friends...gone?...friends?  
  
all three of MY friends, who are holding very VERY big guns: gone...die you little bastard! *rains bullets on the telittubie and it dies*  
  
baby sun: weha!  
  
duana: die bright and shiny thing! *chucks mortar over shoulder and kills da baby* 


	6. Teletubbies vs Jay and Silent Bob

Chapter 6: TTs vs. Jay & Silent Bob 

**Teletubbies vs. Jay & Silent Bob**

  
  
  
*This is the chapter that changed the rating*  
Jay: Yo, Lunchbox, say the fuckin disclaimer thing!  
  
Silent Bob: *clear throat* The author of this story does not own anything Teletubby-oriented, nor does he own the Kevin Smith characters. He does, however, own what happens between the two.  
  
Jay: Good job, Lunchbox.  
  
(Start outside Quik-Stop)  
  
Jay: Ok, Silent Bob. I think I'm gonna finally finish this rap. Hold up....and...  
_Fuck, Fuck Fuck!  
Mutha Mutha Fuck,  
Mutha Mutha Fuck Fuck.  
Mutha Fuck, Mutha Fuck,  
Noise Noise Noise.  
1, 2, 1 2 3 4.  
Noise! Noise! Noise!  
Schmokin Weed, Schmokin Wizz,  
Doin' Coke, Drinkin' Beers.  
Drinkin' Beers, Beers, Beers!  
Rollin' Fattys, Smokin Blunts.  
Who Smokes The Blunts?  
We Smokes The Blunts!  
Rollin' Blunts And Smokin Blunts,  
Shovin' Our Cocks,  
In Cunts!_  
  
(5 min. silence)  
  
Brodie: That was it?  
  
Jay: Yeah, Fuckin' sweet, huh?  
  
Brodie: But why did you capitalize every word?  
  
Silent Bob: The author of this sto-  
  
Jay: Shut the fuck up! You don't talk unless I tell you to. Hey Brodie, Mat-La time!  
  
Brodie: Can I get a drum roll!  
  
Jay:*deep breath*_ Mat, Mat, Mat,_  
Brodie:_ LaLaLa-_  
  
High-pitched voice: LAA LAA!  
  
Jay: What the hell, Bob!? I told you to shut up!  
  
Silent Bob: *shrug shoulders*  
  
(Teletubbies come running in Quik-Stop)  
  
Yellow: Laa Laa! Where my eckothise ball?  
  
Purple: Tinky Winky! Ahn't I fab?  
  
Green: Dipthy! Tubby pimp!  
  
Red: Po! Da Tubby ho!  
  
Jay: Brodie, what the fuck are these things!?  
  
Brodie: Teletubbies. They're a little kid's TV show. And annoying.  
  
Jay: Well, Snootch to the muthafuckin' Nootch!  
  
[Battle sceen. Jay gives Po massive paper cuts using comics causing eternal bleeding, Silent Bob steals a bottle of milk from the Quik-Stop to smash it over LaaLaa's head, Jay gets Dipsy high, which kills Dipsy because a fucking stupid good little Tubby, and Silent Bob use his force powers to kill Tinky Winky.]  
  
Jay: There we go. Stinky Weeny, Dipshit, CaaCaa, and Ho, all dead.  
  
*ENDING* Jay: Yo, Silent Bob, end this story.  
  
Bob: And they all lived--wrong story. So then--wrong story again! Ah! Here it--no, that's not it.  
  
Jay: Yo, were you even readin the fuckin' story? All you have to say is...  
  
Bob: Found it! **THE END**


	7. TTs Meet the StomachVisions

**Teletubbies meet the Stomachvisions**

Whoo! Finally time for an update. I'm gonna try to put up more stories now.

ll$14l/32(disclaimer): Do ya THINK I own the TTs? But I **DO** own the deadly Stomachvisions.

mysterious hole appears next to the TT hole

T.W.: Ooh! Hole! touches hole

Narrator: Inky Pinky! You don't know where that's been! Shame on you!

Stomachvisions pop out of hole

Black SV: Sir Kill Bill! Kick arse!

White SV: Madame Death Hill! Go blow your newbie arse up!

Orange SV: Beta Bobber! 7Y/ 700 H4 (time to hack)!!!11!1

Blue SV: Scythe Blade: I'll cut you before you can think of stoppin me!

Dipsy: chases Beta Bobber Come hea! I want to mreep(?) you!

B.B.: Eat this! shoots flaming motherboard at Dipshit

Sir K.B.: jumps on Stinky Weeny's antenna Hoah hoah! From this angle, you can get an excellent view, of my foot! Kicks of T.Ws head OOH! AAH! OWH!

CaaCaa: Ooh! Scary!

Madame D.H.: Shut the fuck up. Better yet, I'll make you! pulls out staple gun, shoots LaaLaa in mouth

S.B.: cracks knuckles Guess that leaves just two! pulls out scythe, slices off Hoe's head

Baby Sun: flies toward Tubbieworld

Sir K.B.: Take Cover!

All 4 Stomachvisions run into their hole, which is protected by a forcefield. They all survive the impact, and watch Kung Fu movies on their SVs

_**THE END**_


End file.
